I had almost an entire blog post about how we're almost four years into parenting and still using the family bedroom. It was a hemming and hawing post as I debated whether I wanted to continue or not. I reflected on this amazing journey and shared some of the good and bad we've encountered along the way.
But today I turned to Nikola after we woke up and asked if we were going to really move bedrooms, and he said yes, and we did. Today. No hesitation. Because, honestly, if we hesitated, I probably would have backed out.
We spent most of the early afternoon moving rooms. The kids' toys went into the family bedroom with them. Our bed went into the office. We're separate.
We just put the kids down for the night. Peatuk was certain he would hate sleeping "alone," and wanted to sleep with us in our room. But he fell asleep almost immediately after laying down. Jojo went down a little more difficultly, but then she's been going through some sort of sleep regression where it's taking her over an hour to fall asleep most nights, so that was to be expected.
But now it's 11pm, both kids are asleep in their own room and we're sitting on the couch, eating baklava from Nikola's aunt.
And I feel like shit. And I feel excited. And I don't know how I feel.
Part of me is an extreme nester. I love snuggling, and I love being surrounded by my kids all night. I love waking up with them in the morning. But another part of me is completely ready to have my own space. After four years, I'm feeling pretty touched out. I want to be able to sleep without my arm getting pins and needles from Jojo laying on it and without Peatuk kicking me in the back or stomach.
I wonder if the trade-off is worth it.
I tell myself that we can always go back to it if things don't work out. But Nikola has pretty much nixed that idea. He hates moving furniture, and I don't think he's ever been as thrilled by the family bed as I have been.
I guess we'll see what happens over the next couple of weeks. I'm hoping to be able to get some sleep, finally. I'm hoping for two happy kids and two refreshed parents. But all I can say is, "we'll see."