My mother once told me that if it did not result in a baby, she would choose to be pregnant all the time. She was one of those women who glowed through their pregnancy- who felt good and alive while she was pregnant. Apparently pregnancy symptoms are not hereditary, though.
My first pregnancy was marked by sore breasts, exhaustion, and an insatiable sexual appetite. It lead to a happy husband and a lot of weight gain, but I don’t remember it being too bad. I don’t remember it being like this. If I did, I probably would have thought longer and harder about getting pregnant a second time.
This time, though, the little creature growing inside of me is demanding to be noticed. My first symptom was nausea- something I luckily skipped the first time around. I am only 7 weeks pregnant and I swear I have been nauseated for the past month. It comes with a queasy feeling in the stomach and a tight feeling in my chest. After a week I would do anything for the tightness to go away, but at the same time I feel like if my chest relaxes, I will begin hurling without stop. Part of me wishes I could throw up, but I can’t. I am nauseated before I eat. If I eat one bite too much, I become nauseated again. If I lay down? Nausea. If I stand up and walk? Nausea. The nausea creeps up into my throat and eventually my head- a little headache constantly telling me that my body wants to explode.
You know the terrified feeling some people get when they are coming up on E or acid and the trip hasn’t taken over yet? It is like that- except it has been non-stop for the past three weeks. Morning sickness my ass.
Then there are the waterworks. I wont go into detail about… down there… but I will just say that my body is producing WAY more water than it usually does. Urine, vaginal excretions, sweat— I feel like a rag doll left out in the rain and being slowly squeezed. And if there is no where else it can come out, the water has no problem turning itself into tears. I have already had three pregnancy/hormone breakdowns where I cried uncontrollably.
Then, to make matters more… interesting… the toddler in my life has taken to licking me. At night, he will silently crawl over to me and start licking my shoulder. WTF child? Perhaps I am saltier than normal or maybe he has just learned that it freaks me out.
I am so excited to be completing our family. However, this whole pregnancy thing is absolutely no fun this time around. Here’s hoping these are just first trimester symptoms and I will feel “normal” again at some point. Otherwise I am not sure I can make it through 9 months.