On Motherhood

Usually I don’t think of being a mother as a particularly big deal. Sure, there was the whole pregnancy and birth thing, and yes, I am constantly tied to a small being, unable to travel or even go get a coffee on my own for longer than three hours. But still…

Peatuk is this unbelievably chill, fun little person. He is all smiles and laughter and curiosity and discovery. So, he coos from the bed when he wakes up and I have to go get him and sing him, “Good Morning Beautiful,” as he giggles at me. It’s really not a lot to ask from a person.

Then, there are moments when I really feel like a mother. Moments (rare) when he is sobbing uncontrollably because he is tired and the world is so big and he just can’t fall asleep. True, it might be his father that finally gets him to calm down, but as I rub his back, fighting off his whimpers and keeping him asleep, I realize that I am his protector.

That is when I realize that being a mother… being HIS mother, is a big deal. The trust that he can’t help but give me. His complete dependence.

Slowly, he will grow up. I already see so many changes in his eyes as he begins to see the world for what it is. Eventually, if I do my part correctly, he wont need me.

But for now I am completely honored to welcome this soul into the world and guide him through those first, wonderful, frightening, overwhelming years. 

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