Out on the French Countryside

One of the main issues that Nikola and I have encountered since the beginning of our relationship has been the question of where we will live. Originally this was more of a non-question as he completely surprised me by not giving a second thought to coming with me to Istanbul. It was an immediate confirmation of the deep passion and trust that we had for each other. Now, as we move away from the theoretical implications of “living together,” we find ourselves in the midst of a logistical nightmare.

Being a student in Istanbul it was easy for me to get a visa here. Nikola had a bit more trouble, and his visa was certainly not cheep, but he succeeded. Now our clocks are ticking down. We have valid resident permits until October of next year, and by then we need to have figured out a somewhat more permanent solution. This, logically, involves me getting a visa for Bulgaria, or Nikola getting a visa for the US, both of which are drawn out processes, thanks to the US government. Ultimately there may be some months between when we move out of our place in Turkey and before we can settle anywhere else. Because of this I have been looking into some options for travel.

The problem with travel and working is that anything that fits me does not fit him, and although he can work anywhere, I cannot. It is definitely an issue of fish and bird when it comes to making our careers fit together synergistically. But I have been looking at workaway, wwoofing options anyways, as they offer me a chance to train in certain specific permaculture areas that I want to implement once we have our own place. Some of what I have found seems intriguing but most of it is rather upsetting.

I have always been a firm believer that a person should be free to set their own prices and make their own contracts. If something is too expensive for you, then don’t buy it. It is that simple. Except that it isn’t. The idea of volunteering on a farm or hotel for free room and board is a great idea, until I find that most of the places now days are not offering stimulating work that allows the worker to learn (such as design concepts, or skills- instead it is unskilled, manual labor) AND requires the person to work 7 hours a day, 6 days a week for room and board. That just seems a little extreme to me. Working for that much time in a position that gives you skills is one thing, but just pumping out physical, mindless labor for almost no return is absurd. And yet, the more people who offer that, the more people can exploit those who want to travel and volunteer. It seems like yet another great idea is fading into history through selfishness and exploitation.

After our vacation to France I thought about possibly doing a summer working at a camp or a hostel there. In theory it is a great idea. In reality, once again, it doesn’t really fit my life with my partner.

So many dreams and sensations are surrendered during a marriage… but so many others become achievable. I am considering new paths and new ways of doing things that never crossed my mind before. I never thought that I would be married to a computer guy. I always assumed that any long-term relationship would be with someone working in my field. Now I am starting to see why that is necessary. Most fields have allowance for deviation. Mine, not so much.

A bird and a fish may fall in love, but where will they build their home?

— Probably not on the French countryside. 

2 thoughts on “Out on the French Countryside

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *